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Ma Anandamayi's letters to Bhramar Gosh
Translated from Bengali by Swami Nirgunananda
Bhramar Gosh had been to England and was teaching English at the University. She was close to Ma and they had quite an intense relationship as it appears in the following text. Ma, in the beginning, was dictating her letters in the direct style, asking the secretary to sign Ma. It was the case in those letters to Brahma Gosh. The first one is dated 28-10-34 and was dictated by Ma to Bhaiji. They have been found in the old papers of Almora ashram by Swami Nirgunananda, translated from Bengali and commented on by him: he thus continues to work as Ma's secretary as he was before she left her body. He tried to closely follow in his rendition the very simple style of Ma when expressing spiritual realities. Why do you think of my coming and going? Where there is coming, going is there also. I know that I am always with you. Because you move around here and there you don’t see me. Close your eyes and sit still and only then you can see me. Well, will you sit? Comments: in this letter Ma confirms what she often said later "this body does not come and go". Here, she says directly '1 know' giving more strength to this affirmation. Hence we should never miss Ma because of her physical absence. "Moving around" here concerns the fluctuations of Bhramar's mind and Ma gently insists that she should sit. She rarely insisted like this, it shows that at that phase, Ma could very personal. 2) Some time during 1934 This letter was written by Didi (Gurupriya Devi) on Ma‘s directives. The meditative state comes by the repetition of the Name (Bhramar was probably asking what was the respective importance of repeating the Name and meditating). You need not to determine the importance of one or another. Try to chant the Name with your lips and remember it in your heart. Then only you can see that your meditative state is coming spontaneously. (Bhramar was asking about dreams). Some dream may become true in due time but nobody can exactly predict when. Remember that I am always with you, cleave to God, spend your life in purity, joy (anand) and enthusiasm (utsah) This is my only utterance (katha). Comment . this letter indicates a personal relationship with Bhramar Gosh. For her, Ma is emphasizing the repetition of the Name. The whole idea of meditation is to make the mind unidirectional. Ma suggests that during sadhana one should not have doubts about the way to follow. Here, meditation itself comes as the result of chanting the Name, so there is no need to oppose the two practices. 3) 5-8-34 Bhramar had installed a small mandir in her house and wanted a name for it.. Ma answered: Be a good pujari (priest). May your actions and inner feelings (bhava) be fused together, and help you to attain the Ultimate. How about making the name of the temple Yog mandir? From there, be prepared to have the yogashram in your life (ashram means not only the building, but also the stage of life: for instance, the household period in life is called the grihasta ashram) Keep your feelings for yourself. Seeing is through mind only. One cannot see outside so long it doesn’t come from within. Try to keep your inner eye open. Comments. Yoga means union with the Ultimate. This should not be limited to the period of daily ritual worship or meditation in the temple (Yog mandir) but should be extended to the active day making the whole house an ashram. Thus, one can be in constant communion with God. 4) 9-1 1-34 Debra-Dun from Ma to Bhramar Gosh Ma, I have received your letter. Nothing happens before its proper time: for example I got your letter many days ago, and I am replying to it today only. You know, I do nothing of my own will. As Bhaga (God) makes me go, so only I go.(Bhaga jamon chalai, tamni chali). Even if I want to see you, I can’t go. Why can’t I do so? Be more mature, then you’ll understand well. I know how much you love me and how anxious you are to see me and to receive my letters; but tell me, are you able to make things happen just as you want them to be? Keep in mind that there is a greater force (mahashakti, beyond will-power (iccha shakti). Everyone is under its control. As for me, I am ever sitting with my face turned towards you; as for you, you see so many things while facing me. What you see with constancy (nishta), with a single outlook (eka-drishti) and a single goal, that only you will get. It is not that you are denying it, but as you are blocked by the anger directed towards me, you are denying it. You’ll always tease me and I feel good about it because I see you are not so attracted towards me when not angry. Often, my eyes get automatically closed to see your inner state (bhava). When both of us meet, everything will be settled. By quarreling from a distance, all the other attachments will loosen. Then, when we meet with a single attachment (i.e. focused on each other). that will be very sweet (madhu, an adjective indicating spiritual sweetness like honey). What do you say? Maybe you’ll feel very angry but I am feeling very happy (anand), because I do not get as much love from your happiness as I do from your anger. I see that at the time of anger, all your inner words aim at none but me. Write very long letters to me and your mind will become lighter as if it was diluted. Then you’ll see that inside you. there is none but you and me, as you want. Endeavour, patience and tolerance are the heart of sadhana. With all this, try to tread the path towards your goal - that I want. Know that God’s grace is always holding everyone, just as a mother holds her child in her lap. Ma 5) The same day, Bhaiji writes to complete what Ma has said: Sister, In my first letter I let you know that Ma loves you very much, remembers you very much and is always thinking how your life should be beautiful and how you should become an ideal person. Seeing all this, I feel that your right to her feet (i.e., to her affection) is no less than anyone else's. While answering your letter, I wrote what Ma was saying: sometimes it was verbatim. Ma was happy (anand) to receive your last letter. She even asked me two or three times whether it was not the moment to get a letter from you. You are angry with Ma without any reason, and I feel unhappy about this. She says: Upasana (spiritual practice) is just a play of inner feelings (bhava). Before clearly contemplating the deity (upasya) which is the object of your worship, it is necessary to bind yourself to his feet by the thread of the Name (man-mala). Be attentive to this: while doing your upasana, it should always be with joy and enthusiasm. The beauty and ugliness which you see, good and bad smell you perceive, all that is a reflection of your mind’ 6) 3-12-34 From Jyotish Chandra Gosh to Bhramar (There was some project to publish Ma's spiritual advice by a devotee named Pashupati and Ma's permission was sought): Ma wanted your name to be included along with that of Pashupati. Ma's grace has no limits. She attracted you in a special way. Ma wanted that you always offer your mind and life at her feet She is ever pulling us to her even if we don’t want it. 7) 6-12-34 Rishikesh From Ma to Bhramar, in Bhaiji's handwriting. Most affectionate, I received your letter. The delay in replying was because I was in Hardwar. You’re hurt due to the echo of your own words. What can I do? You yourself wrote: I won’t obey your words! But I know that you will not proceed a single step without my word. Always try for what is beneficial for you. Please get your rudraksa rosary knotted by somebody. The rosary is not sanctified without that. Please repeat the Name as much as you can. By repeating it, the mind will he turned away from other directions. Don’t be sorry because I couldn’t come. You are my daughter with a Master's degree. You’ll understand why I couldn't come. I think very much of you, you can't even imagine how much. Are the children aware that their mother has no sleep in her eyes for them? I only want God’s remembrance in you. Without being single minded, is it possible to be mad (pagal) for the One? Try to be in bliss (ananda) with the joy of the Name. Without bliss, no word is complete.
8) 11-1-35 I have got your letter dated January 8th. I think that you may have wrongly taken my words. That’s why when Kittish came from Calcutta, I asked him to go to see you and to tell you. Today is the 27th of the month of Paush. On that very day years ago, you came into the lap of your parents. Be happy (anand), get happiness and give happiness to all. Surely I will visit your Yog mandir (the temple that she installed in her house). Everything has its own time. That, I’ve told you earlier. Please remember the rudraksa rosary, as I mentioned before. I’ve no inconvenience. Your religious feelings will keep me well in all ways. Ma In these last four letters, we are lucky enough to have a rare example of Ma explicitly having to defuse a tense psycho-spiritual phase in her relationship with a close disciple through her correspondence. Bhramar had high expectations; she probably thought she would make inner progress in no time, but it was not so. Moreover, she was possessive and jealous of other devotees who could spend all their time along with Ma. Hence her irritability which we can infer from the answers of Ma and the people around her. Hence a/so, Ma's compassion which sweetly tries to assuage her pain. In the letter of 9-11- 34, she calls Bhramar ‘Ma,’ which does not prevent her calling her "my daughter with a M.A." in the next letter one month later. Some time before, Bhaiji, probably after Ma s directions, called her Yogananda, which was in keeping with the name of Yoga mandir that she suggested for her newly built temple and her advice to live the yogashram (i.e., the yogic lifestyle) in her own house. 9) 25-2-35 Rishikesh from Bhaiji Sister, We are happy to hear about your professorship and the praise which you got from Cambridge University through your letter. In this age, when activity predominates in the world, one has to proceed along the spiritual path through that only. This is an opportunity for your spiritual path to become smoother and we rejoice about it. You wrote to Ma "You’ve become full of ego" A mother is proud of her children. Ma’s lap is more shining having a worthy daughter sitting on it. There is no logic in hoping that your anger will subside by calling Ma "full of ego". You wrote: "Bhramar is dead" (more gache). Hearing this. Ma said "Perhaps, ure gache. i.e., flown away!" (a reference to the meaning of Bhramar - beetle bee). Once Bhramar has tasted the nectar of Dharma, where can she go? And what for will she go? And even if it goes here and there for some time, it will return to the honeycomb, about this I’m sitting unworried. We are arranging for your japamala. Accept these blessings of Ma with joy and reverence. Always keeping in mind the following words which I am writing (in English in the original letter): "Love of God is always beyond the reality of self; but if the mind can be fully emptied of self then the selfless Love, eternal, supreme Love becomes an inner and abiding reality". Be very nice, great and keep well. Dada 10) 3-3-35 Rishikesh Postcard written by Bhaiji in the name of Ma Affectionately I received all your letters and I am happy to hear about your new job. 1 have already informed you about the mala. In all your activities. try to keep God remembrance. Ma 11) by Bhaiji Yogananda, (Ma asked me to call you Yogananda, for you are Yogeshvari (the goddess of Yoga) worshipping Yogeshvar (the god of Yoga, i.e Siva) in a Yoga mandir as Yogananda (bliss of Yoga)). So I am writing you as Yogananda according to Ma’s instructions and I pray to Ma’s feet that you be worthy of our veneration with your inner state (bhav) and actions (karma). Ma wanted to know how you were spending your time after quitting your job. ‘Tell us everything which is in store in your heart. Dada 12) 4-5-35 Dehra-Dun Affectionately I have received your letter. The temple in Uttar-kashi is not yet completed. So there is nothing definite about my movements. You all well know that I move with the present. Are you doing well with your activities? With good wishes Ma (these last two lines correspond in reality to the Bengali shubha-kankshini Ma which sounds like a name of the Goddess). 13) 5-6-35 Dehra-Dun Affectionatelv. I received your letter. It seems from it that you are quite at peace. I didn't know that you won't come without an invitation. That's why I am writing to you to come with the pilgrims of Uttar-Kashi. Even though I am fair complexioned, know that black is the colour of my ornament. Be happy by always praying for God's blessing. (Bhramar had a rather dark-coloured skin and had a complex about this, hence Ma is cutting jokes with her on the topic). 14) 27-8-35 Bhagat (Kangra valley, Punjab. now Himachal Pradesh) Affectionately, Your letter dated 3-8 reached here the day before yesterday after wandering in many places. It seems that when you write Anandamayi in the address, it is misdirected. I am happy to hear that there was some extraordinary occurrence in your Yog mandir. This is not surprising. He will reveal Himself in keeping with your deep devotion and your religious feelings (bhav). World is only a bhav, a play of bhav. Well, I want to ask you if you want to learn the traditional procedure of puja or do you prefer what you’re doing presently? Did it ever come to your mind that your puja is not done properly? Let me know all this. Whatever bhav arises, do your puja with it only. All are one. Worship of one is worship of all. As long as various samskaras arise in your mind, different methods are prescribed to neutralize them. If you want to worship your image of Shiva in a different way, do it but keep the lingam undisturbed as it is. Do your puja on it. As the samskaras are neutralized, you will get a flash of the One and you will understand the One. Your Mother 15) 29-12-35 Tarapeeth (a pilgrimage place of the Goddess Tara, 200 km north of Calcutta,where Ma’s husband. Bholanath, did intensive practices). Dear Auntie (lit. boro Ma, elder Mother, i.e., father’s elder sister, one of the highest authority in the joined family system).Today, I am to sleep without my Auntie.... Your daughter of two months and a half Here Ma presents herself almost as a newborn baby and Bhramar Gosh becomes almost her mother. From then on, Ma always addresses her as boro Ma and describes herself as a little daughter. The relationship is inverted It may be because Bhramar accused Ma of having a big ego in a recent letter. 16) Sometime in January 1936 Tarapeeth Written by Didi on behalf of Ma Auntie, I’m quite well, but you can understand that I’m missing Auntie. Right now I receivedyour letter and I’m laughing a lot. I laughed all alone. Because you are my "elder Mother", I can well understand the meaning of your letter. You have so much energy (shakti) that you can give to others several years of your life and still clear your way to salvation. I do want the manifestation (lit. prakash, light) of your shakti. Whether you give me affection or not, whether you understand me or not, anyway I am getting my due share. Mother, always keep in mind: when outer pleasure is destroyed, then only one can have permanent bliss; what is to be burnt is burnt; what is permanent is not subject to burning. Your little daughter P.S. Try to remember the One, don’t forget it. All your memories will be fused in this one remembrance. Do remember that every day, I am waiting for when the time comes which I indicated to you specifically (Ma could perceive from a distance the activities of her devotees performing their spiritual practices).
17) 1-1-36 Tarapeeth Didi on Ma ‘s behalf Auntie, I shall write only when I get the reply to all my letters. Verily, it is necessary to tie oneself in a pure bondage to be freed from other bondage. Try your utmost to remember it and strive for it. Your little daughter 18) 2-1-36 Didi on Ma ‘s behalf Auntie, Always try to remember that a mind which is aware is necessary. Are you doing well with your regular practices? Your little daughter 19) 3-1-36 Didi on behalf of Ma Auntie, Know that I wait on the time of your regular spiritual practices. I keep a watch on them. Your little daughter
LETTERS ADDRESSED TO PRANGOPAL MUKERJEE
Translated by Swami Nirgunananda These pages consist of the translation from the Bengali of letters on Ma Anandarnayi written mainly in 1925-26; they were addressed to Pran Gopal Mukerjee, who was one of the first devotees of Ma, and one of the first also to speak of her to a large audience. He had an important administrative position (Assistant Post Master General of Dhaka, the capital of present day Bangladesh) and was disciple of a well known saint, Vallananda Brahmachari of Deogarh - Bihar). The bundle of letters was given by Govind Gopal, Pran Gopal’s son and a well known pandit, to Swami Nirvanananda in Dehradun. Swami Nirgunananda (Shantivrat) made a copy of them, and translated them in March 98, in Ma Anandamayi ashram in Dhaulchina (Kurnaon, Himalaya), where he has been living as a hermit for the past twelve years. He is among Ma’s senior disciples. The text was edited by Dr Jacques Vigne, who hails from Paris but has been living in India, especially near Ma’s ashram in Kankhal, for the last eleven years. The selection which was made here will be simultaneously published in English for Ma’s website on the internet, in French in the quaterly ‘Jay Ma’ released both on paper and on the Internet, and in the Bengali version of Amrita Varta, Ma’s quaterly published from Banares. Although this correspondence does not bring any revolutionary knowledge on Ma, it is ln April 1924, Ma and Bholonath had shifted from Bajitpur to Shahbag in Dhaka, where the latter had been appointed as the manager of the estate and garden belonging to the daughter of the Nawab of Dhaka. Ma had started her ‘play of sadhana’ where she explored all the paths of sadhana -except the left hand Tantrism- in a short period. This enabled her to guide in the course of time every sadhaka on his own path, a rare capacity with other gurus. She had observed a period of 23 months of silence until December 1925, and she announced in the beginning of 1926 that she wanted to keep again, for five years, a type of silence where she would not speak on other subjects than religious ones. Eventually, due to the entreaties of her close disciples and relatives, she gave up the idea. During this period and for several months, she used to eat very little: three mouthfuls of food including water on Mondays and Thursdays, and nine grains of rice only on the other days. She also gave up eating with her own hands. On January 26, 1926, Ma started becoming more widely known : a large scale kirtan was organised in Shabag by Bholonath on the day of a solar eclipse -an occasion for celebration in Hinduism. Ma entered into different bhavas (ecstasies) and for the first time, spontaneous mantras coming out of her mouth in front of a large audience. A miraculous atmosphere became manifest around her, and people started flocking to her with all kinds of demands for a cure from illness and so on. The main author of these letters is Atal Bihari Bhattacharya, also referred to as Atal or Atul Babu. He was a teacher in the college of Rajshahi, a town in Bangladesh. Ma told him he was her son, but somehow discouraged his wish for complete renunciation as being premature. The other author of the letters is Baul Bashak, also called Baul Dada (Dada means ‘elder brother’). He was Bholonath’s boyhood friend, and always at hand to render service during these years. It is quite interesting to see how Ma allowed him to enact a mystical vision he had about her in reality. As a third part of this text, we added a few more questions and answers with Ma which were reported at some place or the other in the correspondence and also a hymn to the Mother composed in Bengali by Girija Shankar Bhattacharya and translated by him into English. Ma's effect on the recipient of these letters, Pran Gopal Mujkerjee, has been long lasting. His son writes of him, after his death :"Whenever my father spoke of Shri Ma, there was a thrill of awe and reverence in his voice which remained undimmed over the years. He knew her to be a teacher who had come to show the way. He would ask her very often ’Ma, when are you going to reveal yourself?’ Shri Ma would just smile". (quoted by Bithika Mukerji A Bird on the Wing - Life and Teaching of Shri Ma Anandamayi, Satguru Publications.Delhi, 1998). At the end of this introduction, we may mention the function of the Internet to bring quickly these genuine documents about Ma’s early years to the attention of a world audience, for the benefit of spiritual seekers, students or researchers in religions and mysticism. These letters have been dormant for the past seventy years, were just translated in March 98 in a Himalayan hermitage, and are now on-line. This availability would have been unthinkable only a few years ago, when communication was mostly dependent on the slow and cumbersome system of publication and distribution. A) LETTERS FROM ATAL BIHARI (mainly March 1926). In these letters, we can clearly see how the world of gods and human beings, visions and realities are mixing in the company of a sage like Ma Anandamayi. At that time, we mentioned she had the ‘kheyal’ (divine intuition) to start a five years silence, or more exactly, a period where she would not answer queries related to worldly matters, but would respond only to spiritual demands. On the eve of such a fateful day, the crowd assembled to ask Ma for last minute boons and favours, etc. Eventually, Atal Bihari, along with Ma’s sister-in-law, Pishi Ma, insisted so much that Ma dropped her idea of long-term silence. She discusses with Atal Babu his longing for renunciation: "1. Could you stand to see me dressed in rags and bark only?" Ma : Do you find it difficult to do your job in Rajashahi while leaving me here? Atal : Yes, Ma. Ma : But it is not possible to stay with me and to do all the duties of a householder at the same time. Should you want to stay, you will have to live in a forest like a hermit; but obviously, I must myself also try to live the life of a hermit along with you. Atal : Yes, Ma, let it be. Ma : Can you endure the hardships of the hermetic life? Atal Babu : With your blessings and with you, I am sure that I can. Ma : Look, recently, you were anxious to put in order my kitchen (which was somehow not in a proper order). You always buy new clothes and care much for me. Now, what will happen if you see me dressed in bark and in torn clothes? Will you be able to tolerate all this? At that time, if you say :‘Ma, I cannot stand to see you in such an attire‘, I will leave you! Atal Babu : Ma, you’ve put me to the hardest of tests. You’ve yet to grant me the capacity to pass it. Let your will be done anyhow, but it will really be a punishment for me to leave you here while staying in Rajshahi. After this dialogue, Ma gave him advice and consoled him. 2.Ma acknowledges Atal Babu as her son but does not allow him to touch her feet One day, I, along with Pishi Ma (‘paternal aunt), Bholonath’s younger sister who was helping Ma at that time) requested Ma to die before she herself dies. Ma told Pishi Ma "You please bless me so that I can go before you and before becoming a widow." And she told me :"How can it be? Can a son die before his mother?" I was very pleased that Ma acknowledged me as her son for the second time in her own words. At that time, I understood that she would not take her vow of silence as long as myself and Pishi Ma were along with her. Such was her compassion. After that, I described some spiritual experiences to Ma, and I requested her to endow me with the capacity of keeping this kind of experience for the rest of my life. After that, Ma asked me :"Did you describe all that to Pran Gopal Babu?" "Yes, to him and to his guru, Vallanand Brahmachari of Deogarh, and both of them told me that I am on the right path and that if I follow it, I will reach my Goal. Moreover, Pran Gopal Babu especially instructed me to describe to you everything in detail and to ask for your grace." On hearing this, Ma smiled and asked Bholonath "What should I say?" Bholonath said:"As you wish!" Atal Babu : Ma, whatever my questions are, you always seek permission from some other person to answer them, but a son always likes to hear from his mother directly. Ma : Don’t you ask permission from your Guru to do whatever you do? A.B : I do, I even seek permission from him for whatever 1 say. Ma : So, don’t utter these words ‘some other person’ (this means that not only she considers her husband as her guru, which is the custom in Hinduism, but that she sees him as not different from herself). Ma added, regarding Atal’s capacities to retain the high spiritual experiences he had. "Right now, I won’t say anything. I will answer at the right time". A.B:At least, give me your spiritual assurance (lit 'abhay vani’ ‘word of fearlessness’). Ma later told Bholonath :"lf I describe his spiritual future to Atal, he will be overwhelmed by joy and feel much encouraged". Atal told Bholonath :"l am least interested in knowing my future. What I want is her assurance regarding my spiritual security, it may be today, tomorrow, in ten or twenty years or even after my death, but what I want is coming back to Ma’s lap". Atal Bihari was granted permission to touch Ma’s feet whenever he came and was always eager to do so, but used to seek permission again every time. (Touching the feet means to surrender oneself to a superior, be it a parent or the guru). But once, Ma expressed her displeasure publicly about people doing so. He felt hurt. Ma took him aside in private, along with Bholonath, and explained to him the reasons for not allowing him to touch her feet, and added he should not divulge these reasons. What is remarkable is that from that moment onwards, Atal’s eagerness to touch Ma’s feet completely vanished. 3. Ma identifies herself with Bhadra Kali Near the Ramna Kali temple (Kalibari), there was an old dilapidated Shiva temple. I was going to that temple along with Ma and Sonu, Pishi Ma’s son. We playfully decided to start a race. Sonu and myself were going well ahead of Ma, and when we were about to reach the old temple; we looked back and said jokingly :"Ma, you are defeated!" To our astonishment, she started running, overtook us and reached the temple ahead of us, laughing heartily. Then we all went inside and she gave some further advice to a student who had asked for her blessings the day before to be able to pass an exam in Calcutta. She instructed him to offer hibiscus flowers to Bhadra Kali one by one, repeating his prayers to Her. it was 11 or 12 noon, and then we understood that Ma had come all the way here only to grace this student. The same evening, Ma returned to Ranmna Kalibari with a few devotees. The manager of the temple, Nityananda Giri, had had some dispute over the endowment of temple properties. He had asked Ma about the auspicious time to file a suit. That evening, she advised him to start it in the month of Magh (after January 14, the beginning of the six auspicious months of the year according to Hinduism). All of a sudden, Ma started shouting :"Where are you all!" We were startled to hear such shouting. Then, addressing Nityananda Thakur, she added :"You cannot keep me here anymore. For some time, I will leave this place and stay in Shahbag (Ma and Bholonath’s place). You may go there if necessary, but I won’t come here." Ma was telling this with a really harsh voice. Then she burst into a violent peal of laughter and came out of the temple. She was waving her hand as if throwing out somebody and was telling :"Go, go!". Then she went inside the samadhi temple (tomb) of a saint which was located in the courtyard and instructed us to go back inside the main building since she would be late coming out. (In another letter) Atal Babu reports that thev asked Ma about her unusual behavior. She started a few words, but suddenly stopped and said "I have the kheyal (a sure divine inspiration) that if I explain this right now, I will lose my speaking power". Anyhow she indirectly gave some hints as to how Bhadra Kali was displeased with Nityananda Giri's improper behaviour, and how she expressed her feeling of discontent through Ma's body. Sonu asked "If the Mother Goddess is no more in Kalibari, will the offerings of people going there be accepted and their prayers granted?" Ma said "The Mother-Goddess resides always everywhere, but in places of pilgrimage (tirtha) and holy places her power is particularly manifested. Ordinarily, she will always be in Ramna, but for some days her special power will not be felt there. Still those who do not know this and worship Her in good faith at that place will have their prayers granted!" 4.Baul Basak is allowed by Ma to enact his vision. In deep meditation, Baul Dada saw himself making circles around Ma's head with Shiva's trident (trishul). He told Ma about this vision. While everyone was discussing this Pishi Ma said to Bholonath "I will put a trishul in your hand" and Ma approved. The next day, at 10 am, when Baul Dada came to Shahbag, Ma immediately asked him to go to Siddeshwari temple to a certain Bairavi (a tantrik female ascetic) to get a trident from her. On the way we bought offerings of flowers and fruit. Because the main temple was crowded, we decided rather to offer the items to Ma’s mahasana (a small platform especially built, for Ma in Siddeshwari courtyard). We took the trident of the Bhairavi, placed it on Ma’s mahasana, worshipped it and returned to Shahbag with it. On the way back, Baul Dada kept on singing Shambu’s (Shiva’s) praise. We put the trident in Ma’s bedroom. In the evening, I placed two asanas down (small carpets for meditation), requested Bholonath to sit on the right one and Baul Dada asked Ma to sit on the left one, though she protested jokingly saying: "I feel very weak, I cannot get up from the bed". We could clearly understand that Ma was in a special spiritual mood (bhava); all her limbs were stiff. After some time, she regained her normal state and sat on her specified asana. Seeing that Pishi Ma was bringing the trident from her room, she said, making fun of the situation: "I am frightened to see you thus. Will you strike me?" At this time, Pishi Ma was looking just like a bhairavi with the trident and her face had an awe-inspiring glow. She put it in Bholonath’s hand, then got absorbed in deep meditation for some time. Bholonath gave the trident to BauI Dada, who started moving it in circles over Bholonath’s and Ma’s head, while singing Lord Shiva’s praise. It was as if he was possessed by some holy madness (in fact. Baul in Bengali means crazy, often for God). After some time, Ma told him "Now, you understand why there is a trident in the hand of Lord Shiva". Incidentally, a few days back, Baul Dada had asked this question to Ma and she had not given any answer. Then Baul Dada explained:"Lord Shiva is the great God (Mahadev, a name used for Lord Vishnu as well, the preserver of the universe), the great Time (mahakal, means the great Destroyer) and the creator of the Universe (an allusion to the essence of Shiva as being above the manifested trimurti of Brahma, Vishnu - and Shiva as simply destroyer). He holds in hand Nature (prakriti) in the form of a trident. The trident stands for the three attributes of Nature (i.e., the three gunas). It is always striking at the world, hence the sorrow. He further added "Kashi (the ‘shining one’, the traditional name of Banaras) is Shankar’s (Shiva's) capital and is placed on the trident, which means that it is not a part of the universe. This kingdom is beyond the gross world, in it there is neither pleasure nor pain, that’s why there is no earthquake in Kashi. In this microcosm which the body is, the five elements and the three gunas correspond to the five inferior chakras and to the three nadis. ida, pingala and sushumna. The eyebrow chakra (ajna) is beyond them, it is called by tantric practitioners ‘Kashi’. When the mind is stabilized in this chakra, there is ‘no earthquake’, i.e., mental and emotional disturbances subside". Ma approved of these explanations. B) FROM A LETTER OF BAUL BASAK Ma evokes her own experiences.In Siddheshwari, the devotees had built a small cemented platform for Ma to sit on while being there. They wanted to consecrate it during the nine days of the Durga Puja festival in 1925. They had prepared a meal (prasad) for about hundred people, but more than three hundred of them turned out. Yet, after everyone could have their fill, there were still some leftovers. Then, Ma evoked her own spiritual state: "When waking up after quite some time, I am quite oblivious of the world outside, of where I am, whether on the ground, in water or in air, of what type of room I am in, whether a building or a hut, where the doors are, whether it is day or night, and whether there are people or not surrounding me. After a long time, the outer perception becomes clear again. Many a time, I just lay down with inert body. I do nut have any special perception of my body parts like hands, feet, eyes, ears or mouth. It feels as if a small lump clay is just lying there. Inside, I feel just like clean and solid glass where no stinking smell or putrefied air can enter. If they somehow manage to get in, it is very difficult to get rid of them. I cannot do anything against it on my own. Should I be forced to do anything in that state, I feel pain. It seems that it is better not to take any food. If I do so, I feel a burning sensation in my body, profuse sweating and an impaired breathing. If in that state someone is calling me, it seems as if a person is striking hard on my head. If I respond to anybody’s call at that time, I may go mad. C) A FEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS (In a letter, Pran Gopal Mukerjee was probably criticizing somebody. Ma answers the following): These who are trying to proceed towards God should refrain from criticizing and speaking ill of others. If you see someone, you should not try to label him as good or bad. The attraction towards God of those who do so will be weakened and they will be tempted to glorify themselves. One should better look within. How can we get rid of the sense of 'me' and 'mine' ('amar' in Bengali)? Ma: Delete this ‘a’ at the beginning; what remains is ‘mar’ (lit ‘belonging to Ma’, ‘of Ma’). Let< the five senses and the five organs of action do their work, but stay put on the Name; then, your ego will gradually diminish. When you feel that the recitation of the Name is going on spontaneously from within, the ego will decrease as well. Ma, you have reached the culmination of sadhana. Is there any necessity for you to observe these strict rules? I just have to stay in this world. Self-restraint is necessary so that the ego does not get the upper hand. (Ma wants to set an example for others as well). Nani Babu asked Ma "Ma, you are all merciful; you have to teach the world non-violence (ahimsa). Then, why are you after blood? (Ma was from a Shakta family, in a tradition where one performs animal sacrifice, while many other people in Bengal were following Vaishnavism which strongly condemns bloody rituals : hence this perpetual bone of contention between the two groups) Ma, in a special mood (she had been addressed by Nani Babu directly as the Goddess):"I drink my own blood (a reference to the famous representation of Chinnamasta 'the one with her head which is severed, who actually drinks her own blood while at the same time giving a part of it to Jaya and Vijaya). I am nirahara (which may mean I do not take any other food, or else I have not taken any food, hence I am hungry). I am the whole world in its entirety. Why do you have so much greed for blood sacrifice? To me, everything is equal. What is sacrifice? What is not sacrificed? Why do you pluck flowers and fruit from the tree? Why do you take vegetables from the fields? Whatever you are taking is only sacrifice. The presiding deity (Chinnamasta) is drinking her own blood. She is taking everything in and giving everything out.
D) A HYMN TO THE MOTHER By Girija Shankar Bhattacharya (who was originally from Ashtagram and Professor in Calcutta,). This hymn was written in 1943 first in Bengali and then translated by the author himself into English.. 1) I bow down to the Blissful Mother of the Universe (Shree Shree Anandamayee) again and yet again do I bow down to her, whose irradiant smile dispels all mental darkness: whose sweet words attract all: and who by her affection makes everyone her own. 2) I bow down to the Blissful mother of the Universe (Shree Shree Anandamayee); again and yet again do I bow down to her. whose mysterious life (literally the truth about whom) is beyond the comprehension of human beings: and who, though living always without any break in the bliss of Brahman, moves about free, for the good of the downcast, as a veritable mother, full of infinite patience. and infinite readiness to pardon transgressions. 3) I bow down to the Blissful Mother of the Universe (Shree Shree Anandamayee) again and yet again do I bow to her, whose mercy is my only hope: who, in her infinite graciousness, manifests herself even in minds prone to evil thoughts and fills them with ecstasy; and utter surrender to whom, together with all near and dear ones, is the only duty of sensible men. 4) To Bholonath do I bow who has a body of bliss (or who was a second Nityanand, (Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s main disciple) and I bow to the Supreme Bhakta who has obtained Unity with the effulgence of Brahman (or to the supreme Bhakta Jyotish, i.e. Bhaiji, whose first name signifies literally ‘God of Light’). A thousand times I bow to one whose name is Gopal and who has dedicated his breath to the service of God (or to the saintly Prangopal, pran meaning ‘breath’). Again and again do I bow to Rama Chandra, who has access to the most inaccessible mysteries. (Ram Chandra Chakravarti was a widely revered saint, who was the first to declare that Ma is Jagadamba, Mother of the universe Herself.) |