FIRST DARSANA
—Sri
Han Ram Joshi
It was on the memorable
Jhanda Mela (Annual Flag Hoisting) day in March, 1933, just four days after the
Holi festival, that I decided to go to village Raipur with a couple of friends
for the darsana of Mataji who had
been staying there since about ten months. In the outskirts of the village we
met an old woman who told us that Pitãji (Baba Bholanath Mataji’s world!y
husband) and his attending Brahmachari (Kamalakanta)
had gone to Dehradun to see the Jhanda Mela at Gurudwara Ramrai, and that
Mataji was in the dharmasala. We
thereupon decided to go there for Her darsana.
In front of the Sivalaya there was a cemented raised platform under a mango
tree. We saw a grave, fair, and saintly looking person sitting on that platform
reading a book. He wore spectacles and was dressed in a white dhoti and a white
woollen shawl. I took courage and enquired from him about Mataji who was
reported to be mostly in samãdhi. He
was pleased to inform me that Pitäji had gone to Dehradun and that Mataji could
be seen in the dharamasla a few steps
above the temple, after Her coming out of samädhi.
I then asked him what had brought him to the Raipur temple, whether he was
one of Mataji’s devotees. He smilingly told me in a sweet voice that he was Jyotish
Chandra Roy from Dacca, Personal Assistant to the Director of Agriculture,
Bengal Government and had come for Mataji’s service, having taken four month’s
leave from his office. As I found out later, he was popularly known as
‘Bhaiji’.
Bhaiji stated further that
Mataji, Pitäji and he had left Dacca very suddenly after the completion of
Mataji’s 36th birthday celebrations at the Ramna Ashram. They had reached
Dehradun on June 7th. The following morning they had shifted to Raipur. He then
enquired about myself. I told him that I was posted in Dehradun as Inspector of
Co-operative Societies since September; 1930, and that on November 30th, 1931,
I had lost my wife who had left behind two sons, aged six and two years. About
two hours passed in this conversation. My companions became impatient to return
to Dehradun. I suggested to them that if they wished, they could go back in the
two tongas we had left behind in the village outskirts, but as for myself I
would leave Raipur only after having Mataji’s darsana. I accompanied them to the tongas. When I returned to the
temple, Bhaiji took me to Mataji, the Divine Universal Mother, who was sitting
on a mat in a corner of the dharamasälä wearing a white dhoti, covering Her
head—in the customary manner. I paid my respectful homage by sãstänga dandawat pranama (obeisance by full
prostration) and placed before Her as my humble offering a dozen sugarcanes
which I had purchased at Raipur as I had forgotten to bring offerings from
Dehradun. Bhaiji conveyed to Mataji in Bengali all he had heard from me about
myself. Mataji did not talk to me directly on this occasion. She only smiled
when I placed the sugarcanes before Her. Bhaiji gave me a few as prasäda.
At my first darsana, Mataji’s enchanting and smiling
face transformed my mind altogether and brought me the firm conviction that
what I had believed to be impossible to be achieved by anyone, namely, the
state of ‘sthitaprajña’ (perfect
sage) as described in Chapter II of the Bhagavad Gitã, She actually was in that
very exalted condition. This, I must say, was a great inspiration to me as I
had no preconceived notions about Her spiritual attainments, not having heard
from any quarter anything about Her sadhana
and supernatural powers.
I returned to Dehradun late
in the evening and related to my mother all about my visit to Raipur, assuring
her that on the following Sunday I would try to take her for the darsana of the Great Saintly Lady. This
rather surprised my mother as she was under the false impression that ever
since the death of my wife I had, in all probability, developed atheistic
views.
The following Sunday,
instead of taking my mother to Raipur, I suddenly decided to visit Mussoorie to
find suitable agents for the disposal of the sugar that was being manufactured
in the open pan sugar factory at village Badripur (Dehradun). On reaching
Landour Bazar, Mussoorie at about 9 A.M. I was amazed to see Bhaiji in front of
the Mansaram Bank, coming from the opposite direction of Santana Dharma temple.
After paying my respects to him, I told him that he should have informed me
before coming to Mussoorie as he had promised when I had met him at Raipur.
Bhaiji thereupon remarked that the ways of the Divine Mother were quite
peculiar. She had no pre-conceived plans for Her movements from one place to
another. On leaving Raipur, She had ordered him to go straight to the Kãli Ban dharamasalã at Dehradun and from there
the following morning to Mussoorie on the way to Uttarkashi. It was because of
this that no message about their sudden move from Raipur to Mussoorie could be
conveyed to me. He then took me to the Sanätana Dharma temple dharamasa1á and introduced me to Pitaji
who was standing at the gate. Pitäji embraced me and immediately took me to
Mataji.
At this second meeting,
Mataji addressed me directly in Hindi. She first asked what had brought me to
Mussoorie and then intimated to me that She and Her party were to leave the
following morning for Uttarkashi. I was also told that at that moment they were
going to the hill top of Landour Bazar (Depot), from where the whole Himalayan
range including Badrinath could be seen. I decided to accompany them. Mataji
then wanted to know what I would do with the sample bags of sugar I had brought
to Mussoorie. I told Her that the sugar would go with them for their use on
their way to Uttarkashi.
Before we left for the
Depot I consulted Bhaiji about the coolies, pack-ponies and dandies required
for their journey, and detailed instructions were given to my friend, Sri Jamna
Datt Sanwal of the Mansaram Bank, for making all arrangements. Mataji was then
bare-footed and so I tried to persuade Her through Bhaiji and Pitäji to use a
dandi for visiting the hill top. Two dandies were also arranged for Pitäji and
Bhaiji. Mataji at first declined to get into the dandi but Pitäji and Bhaiji
finally persuaded Her to do so. On reaching the Depot I ordered from Military
Dairy two seers of fresh cow’s milk and offered them to Mataji, who sipped only
a little of the boiled milk after considerable coaxing, and the rest was
distributed amongst all those sitting around Her. She then asked me to sing
some songs. I obeyed, though I was not a singer nor did I have a sweet voice. However,
it appeared to me that Mataji was listening with great interest. Late in the
evening we came back to Sanãtana Dharma temple and Sri Sanwal told me that he
had made all necessary arrangements for the journey of Mataji and Her party to
Uttarkashi. I then sought Mataji’s permission to leave for Dehradun on foot as
the motor road would have already been closed. Mataji advised me to pass the
night in Mussoorie, but as I had not informed my mother I decided, though
reluctantly, to walk down to Dehradun at that late hour. This time I was
promised that Mataji would certainly give me timely information on Her return
from Uttarkashi. in the meantime I should be on the look-out for a suitable
place for Her stay in Dehradun proper or nearabout.